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AGMR – the Why Haven’t We Seen Previews For This Movie edition:

   As I commented last week, I was expecting to be buying a ticket to see Russel Crowe on the big screen this week. But Friday, as I was having dinner with Mrs AGMR, I went online to check movie times for Saturday and noticed a new war movie starring the awesome Jake Gyllenhaal – The Covenant. I watched the trailor and said to Mrs AGMR ‘Oh, we have a winner!’. I am happy to say, it was an excellent call.
   ALERT: there is a VERY SLIGHT SPOILER coming, but nothing that you didn’t guess just by watching the trailer, sooooo……..there ya go.
   I would not put The Covenant in the same stratosphere as Top Gun: Maverick. But Guy Ritchie (who rarely disappoints) surely took a page from their playbook. This movie was solid butt-clenching drama almost start to finish. The plot was easily predictable and it is a testimony to the writers, director and actors (Dar Salim was spectacular) that we were on the edge of our seats even knowing how it would end. Think Apollo 13…history already told us how it all ended and we were still teary-eyed when we heard Tom Hanks’ crackly transmission ‘Hello Houston. This is Odessy. It’s good to see you again’.
   Its worth stating from the outset that this movie definitely did not include any wokeness, no virtue signaling, not even an SJW tip-of-the-hat. If anything, there was even a subtle pro-american esprit de corps. It did manage to depict incredibly strong female characters that were actually germane to the story and not shoe horned in for the sake of…whatever. Emily Beecham ran a successful classic car restoration business and raised two kids while Jake Gyllenhaal was busy kicking @$$ in the desert. Fariba Sheikhan kept her family’s shite tight while her husband did what he could to fight the Taliban. To put a point on it, the epilogue stated the verifiable fact that over 300 Afghani nationals and their families were left behind and subsequently murdered after our horribly mishandled withdrawl in 2021. So yeah, it didn’t go over the top in either direction. The epilogue statement wasn’t even necessary to the story, so its inclusion felt a little like a shot across the bow to the anti-American mindset. Almost as if somebody realized that making a GOOD pro-American movie would be a success for the studio. Shocker.
   Okay, down to brass tacks. Obviously, I heartily recommend this movie. I saw it at the earliest evening showing and the theater was fairly packed. That is pretty incredible given that I had not seen any trailer for it. Heck, I hadn’t even heard of it before Friday. And I pay a LOT of attention to coming attractions. A LOT. I’m giving The Covenant 4.5 out of 5…high praise, indeed. And since I’m ever an optimist, I’m hopeful that this flick is saying to us ‘Hello, America. This is patriotism. It’s good to see you again!’.
#TheCovenantmovie #AverageGuyMovieReview #PCLoadletter64 #UniteeBridge
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Average Guy Movie Review (AGMR): the Renfield of Dreams edition:

   I was torn between going to see Renfield and The Pope’s Exorcist this weekend. A quick ask of my wife’s preference ended my quandry. Time will tell if I made the right call. Was Renfield good? Eh, that’s a very relative term. I would call it just okay. Definitely not a movie I will be eager to have a second helping of. They made room for a sequal, but I would be surprised if it gets made and I would only go see it in theater if the other choice was Fast and Furious: Baby Buggy Burnout.
   Having set your expectations, lets look at what was good about the battle of the Nicholas (Nicholases? Nicholai?) You all know by now that I like to find the good in any movie night that I just dropped $$$ on. Saying that, I like Nicholas Hoult when he’s doing what he does best, and I’m not quite sure how to describe what that is. If anyone has seen him in ‘the Great’, you’ll know what I mean. He is just SO MUCH fun to watch him do whatever that is, and he does it perfectly in Renfield. Maybe we’ll call this niche acting ‘hillarious and broken fellow clueless to his surroundings, his effect on others or his place in life’. Dry humor is a difficult skill and he delivers it perfectly and effortlessly.
   Nicholas Cage is a veteran over-actor (not a knock, mind you…I give you Jim Carey, the master class of overactors). There seems to be no comedic vehicle that he can’t deliver on. Even in a vehicle so anorexically lean on story as Renfield is. His turn on the infamous blood-sucker was enjoyably campy and over-the-top in just the way you would expect him to be. Was it a phone-in performance? Maybe. But even so, he’s just so darn good at it that it hardly mattered.
   And in the same vein, Awkwafina was quirky, sarcastic and imminently excitable…the same character you’ve seen in every single thing she’s done. That we are not yet tired of it is testimony to how unique her one-trick pony is. There was just enough of it to be ejoyable and not become tiresome.
   Do I recommend Renfield? Ahhh, I’m going to say maybe wait until its on streaming. Worth a watch but seeing it when there is nothing else to see will increase your enjoyment of it. I’m already prepared to say that I should have dropped my coin on Russel Crowe last weekend. I give Renfield 2/5
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AGMR – D&DHAT for the win (against all odds!) – an honest movie review

An honest movie review: Dungeions and Drgons: Honor Among Thieves
   As always, what follows will be a 100% honest movie review from a dude that has no agenda other than escaping for a couple of hours and chomping some corn.
   I readily admit to going into ‘Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves’ fully expecting to be disappointed. I had heard that it shamelessly demasculated the guys and empowered the women. And if I’m being honest, it totally did. Chris Pine was the defacto leader and yet was kind of a bumbler, getting by on charm and an enthusiastic confidence in himself and his friends. Hugh Grant was his stock character…charming in a benign but smarmy, oily way. Michelle Rodriguez was the muscle, Sofia Lillis was powerful and confident. Justice Smith was weak and lovesick. Pretty much across the board, the women were superior to the guys with the exception of an over-serious Zenk Yendar, portrayed enigmatically by Regé-Jean Page. There was even a cameo by Bradley Cooper that was BLATENTLY demasculating. And yet, I loved the dude characters all the more. Chris Pine’s charm is next level and carried what could have been a tragically un-entertaining movie. This movie could have easily fallen into the current Hollywood proclivity of switching traditional gender roles and been a complete FAIL. Instead, the writing was perfectly attuned to the character’s strengths and deftly made fun of itself. There will undoubtably be a D&DII and my big fear is that they will try to catch lightning in a bottle again. This almost never works (I say almost because I’m sure it happened once or twice but I couldn’t name one off the top of my head). And that would be a shame. But living in the moment, I found this movie endearing and am giving it a 3.75/5! My best advice to WB: Don’t try to demasculate the dudes in the next one or let D&DHAT stand on it’s own.