Month: January 2024

Anyone But You? Anyone but ME

As you know, The Average Dude is 100% committed to consistency. Have I not brought you at least one review every week since I first put pen to paper (metaphorically)? And even in the lean stretch twice each year, I still venture out to sample something if there is ANYTHING that MIGHT POSSIBLY be worth our time. This week, I felt my only shot was to see the new Pixar show. Then, inspiration struck…I would give Mrs. Average Dude the choice. She’s been so amazingly supportive of my blog. This feels like small reward for her loyalty but I give it with much love. She chose the only rom-com currently out at our moviehaus: Anyone But You.

There is no better place from which to view the world than from behind three feet of mahogany

Anyone But You most notably stars Glen Powell and Sydney Sweeney as the pretty people poster children of this totally formulaic romantic comedy. They are by no means the only stars in this firmament. I had a vague notion of seeing Sweeney around in something somewhere, but names like Dermot Mulroney and Bryan Brown (the amazing Douglas Coughlin from ‘Cocktail’) have a well-known legacy. Rachel Griffiths has a smallish biography but enough that Mrs AD and I were trying to figure out where we had seen her (The Rookie, to save you the search).

 

Even Hadley Robinson was familiar, having just watched her charming performance in The Boys in the Boat. And maybe it’s just me. Or maybe it’s just that I’m, you know, an average dude. But I live in a world where not everyone is flawlessly gorgeous and every apartment is affordable. There is no trendy coffee shop downstairs. And yes, I know my world has rugged dudes that can absorb multiple gunshot wounds and recover with asprin and tied off with a piece of a dirty shirt. Like I said…I’m an average dude. To each their own.

So pretty it’s ridiculous

So, yes…I realize for whom these movies are made and the prettiness factor is dialed up to an unrealistic eleven. Like the Hallmark movies that Mrs Average Dude loves, everyone is perfect and love wins out in the end. That’s not a spoiler. I did mention that this is the most formulaic rom-com in the history of rom-coms, yes?

Even so, I was able to appreciate this movie when viewed as an AD who loves his Mrs AD with the fiery passion of every rom-com pairing ever. Not because of the story, which was painfully contrived and predictable. And not because of the minor star power, because the script was mostly so bad it was cringe (which the movie actually admits!). No, this movie was enjoyable due a couple of quirky moments, a few chuckles and the irresistable charm of Glen Powell.

Just paying his dues

Anyone But You is ‘chokkers’ with bargain bin stars…there’s a poor man’s Gal Gadot, a poor man’s Kirsten Dunst, a poor man’s Thor Odinson (he was actually called ‘B*tch Hemsworth’). And if I’m being honest, Glen Powell is a poor man’s Ryan Reynolds. It’s okay. That’s a really high bar. I’d love to be called that. Here’s the thing…Powell is paying his dues right now. Reynolds did his time on the rom-com set. I suspect that Powell will be the new RR when he’s ready to pass the torch. Powell is just too Reynoldsy to not be the guy. It’s kismet.

It needed to be said

As charming as Powell is in Anyone But You, I have to go on the record as saying that I believe Sydney Sweeney could be the worst actress since Kristen Stewart. I know that this is a really small sample size and I’m willing to be proven wrong. But from what I saw, she was cast because of her physical attributes (which are considerable) and those alone. But her acting…? Just. Really. Awful. I don’t like saying that one bit. But I said what I said.

Bonus

Overlooking that, there were enough predictable chuckles and individual character charm to keep me from having a mid-movie ‘nappetizer’ (Mrs. AD’s jibe). Of particular note were Joe Davidson (the aforementioned Hemsworth clone) and GaTa (never heard of him but okay). Each of them had their moments so I’m giving them a marginal thumbs up. They did the best they could with a sophmoric script. Joe Davidson’s beach shower scene where he rattled off an impressive list of Aussie slang for…uh, his manpride…was much fun. And informative.

Because and in spite of all, I’m giving Anyone But You – the most generic rom-com title ever schlepped out of Hollywood – a 3.2 out of 5. It’s a perfectly suitable lean month watch. Go forth, Glen Powell, and do great things. And in case you might wonder if The Average Dude has a bias against rom-coms in general? I do have a favorite. Worth Winning, circa 1989 starring Mark Harmon is a great watch that totally holds up. Just remember, there was a time before cell phones when camcorders were a thing. Enjoy!

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I.S.S. tries to pack suspense into very small real estate

As I’ve said ad nauseum, The Average Dude is adept at finding the good in every movie I shell out my hard-earned coin for. To date, I’ve only found one movie that I literally could not do that with (I’m looking at you, ‘Us’). And even though we are in the sloppy-cold stretch for cinema, I’m glad to say that I did find that silver lining in the slightly above ‘meh’ movie that is I.S.S. Slightly above.

I.S.S. is the story of the folks that live above the clouds on the International Space Station (hence the name). A motley mix of American and Russian scientists cohabitate, coordinate and cooperate, having found a zen-like existence above the clouds. New arrival Dr. Kira Foster barely has time to tuck her lab mice into their new weightless home when she sees silent, terrifying, catastrophic lights expanding across the surface of Mother Earth. It seems that WWIII has errupted and no one thought to warn the I.S.S. crew first. Bureaucratic short-sightedness knows no borders, clearly.

So Much for Zen

And, as one might expect (and the trailer announced), those bureaucratic masterminds that brought you nuclear summer quickly followed by nuclear winter have indeed finally remembered the I.S.S. and have sent orders to ‘Secure the station. At any cost’. Brilliant.

Houston, we have a problem…

So, each team has orders to shove their moral compass in a drawer and become combatants. Their internal and group deliberations were disturbingly brief, which doesn’t speak highly of either Russian or American tethering to humanity. Moral ambiguity aside, they’re all scientists. Even if some of them are military scientists, they’re still presumably not hard-wired to kill. I’m thinking  the battle might look something like…

https://images.app.goo.gl/J7x8pYujhknGNwxB8
https://images.app.goo.gl/5q1h4DXrcy4EUUnX9

It’s all about the science, man

I.S.S. does it’s best to build tensions and highlight internal conflicts in a semi-slow burn, but it doesn’t quite make it. The most I felt was a slight anxiety and no real investment in any of the astro/cosmo-naughts. I actually found myself wishing to know more about what was going on planetside. We never got any kind of confirmation on who was winning down there or who was left. The visuals from the I.S.S. were visceral, basically showing an earth aflame. That seemed like the real story of intest here, not a potential slap-fight from the Big Bang Theory cast.

Also, it was never even clear why both governments wanted control of the I.S.S. in the first place…some vague reference to radioactive research in zero gravity. It seemed pretty obvious that they had weightier concerns on the ground but whatevs.

I.S.S. had a pretty short run-time – a mere 1h 35m – which still seemed a little long for this story to be told. Christopher Nolan, the king of the slow burn, could have found a way to properly build the tension. But this version of the story mostly failed to launch, and The Average Dude can only give I.S.S. a 3 out of 5 and I  truly wonder if this might have worked better as a dark comedy. The best thing about this movie was the stunning visuals of Global Thermonuclear War as viewed from the silent vaccuum of space. Given the current state of actual geopolitical unrest, these were even more gut-wrenching. Brrrr.

Elizabeth…this is the big one…

And btw, I had hoped that we would have a space station that looked more like Star Trek and less like Sanford and Sons. But that’s just me.

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The Boys in the Boat…the feel-good movie of…the week after Christmas…

Sigh…we are moving into that post-Christmas movie doldrum period where shelling out money for a show feel more like a habit than an event. And even though I think The Boys in the Boat actually did come out at Christmas, it was overshadowed by Wonka (yay!) and Aquaman (yeesh). Time management, people.

The Boys in the Boat: the General Tso’s of feel good movies

So cool, I was able to see a decent movie this week. Because I think pretty much everything new that my local moviehaus brought in last week is pooptrash. I saw the previews for Beekeeper and even those are pretty low quality. I welcome anyone who can prove me wrong.

And don’t even get me started on the redo of Mean Girls. That is the very definition of a remake that nobody asked for. Or wanted. But back to the Boys in the Boat…

Wasn’t that what Jesse Owens did?

The Boys in the Boat is a period piece set in the heart of the Great Depression in pre-WWII America. Adolf the Vile is hosting the 1936 Olympics and is bent on proving German superiority on a world stage. Enter the University of Washington Scull Team, Junior Varsity. In a country desperately needing a win, some of the most down-trodden, second-stringers rise to the occassion.

Armed with little more than American grit and determination, this unlikely band of students win the hearts of a country starving for hope. And even though Jesse Owens was the big story of that Olympiad, and he did make a little cameo in this movie, the story of the boys in the boat was still…nice.

So sure, it was a feel-good movie and that was nice

As it is with movies like Cinderella Man, where you knew the outcome walking in, it’s nice. But unlike Cinderella Man, the stakes are comparatively low. In Cinderella Man, we find it easy to become invested in the Riches to Rags to Riches true story of James J. Braddock and family. It helps that the cast was absolutely top shelf. The stakes for TBitB weren’t quite so high. Or personal.

For the most part, The Boys in the Boat had no marque names attached. Joel Edgerton, we’ve seen. Callum Turner’s face is familiar. And I actually had to Google where I saw Courtney Henggeler before (nice to see you again, Mrs. LaRusso). The only big name attached to this is director George Clooney. I’ve heard of that guy. Other than him…eh. Not much in the way of star-power. Still, everyone in the cast did a nice job.

AWKwerd

Maybe you’ve noticed the purposeful overuse of the word ‘nice’. That’s because it fits this movie…uh…nicely. Nothing about The Boys in the Boat was bad. Not at all. But nothing really stands out, either. The gold standard of feel-good movies might be Cinderella Man. There were cheers from the audience at the end of it. With BitB, I noticed a smattering of applause…the kind that dies off quickly when they realize that they are clapping alone. Yoiks. Good thing the lights had not come up yet.

So yeah.The Boys in the Boat was a nice movie, made a bit nicer because it came at at time of year when nice is a rarity, and that’s not nothing. Still, I’m only giving it a 3.3 out of 5. Not a feel-good movie I’ll put in my regular rewatch rotation (like Bagger Vance). I won’t stop and watch 5 minutes every time I see it on the random (like Tombstone). It was just…kind of…what’s the word I’m looking for…?

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Average Dude Movie Reviews! The Best Movie of 2023 Part 2…

Here it is, this is my continuing quest…spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of movies…the thrill of victory…and the agony of defeat…the human drama of cinematic entertainment…this is

When last we saw our Average Dude…

…we were recapping the Best Movie of 2023 candidates, leaving off with:
Equalizer 3: What, I hear you saying, is an August movie doing in consideration for this lofty accolade? To be honest, I was pretty surprised myself. Yet here we are. And there’s no one person to thank for the late summer gem that this movie was. Denzel delivers, always. But he couldn’t give us a 4 star movie all on his lonesome.

The story was nothing new, that’s true. But seeing D’s take on the character – complete with all the gravitas at his disposal – just made it so cool. Add to that the spectacular locations that were more than window dressing for the action…well, it was just special. Was it a litte more special given that it popped up when I was expecting the dregs of Hollywood? Fair. But it still got a 4 star rating and I’m sticking to it. Fight me.

Dumb Money: Wow, what a surprise this one was! When you think of real life feel good stories, you think of movies like Cinderella Man, The Blind Side or Homeward Bound: the Incredible Journey (YES IT WAS! DON’T MAKE ME FIGHT YOU!). Yes, sure, those are fantastic movies that happened to real folks far and long away. Dumb Money was a feeler that hit very close to home because A)it was recent. Like, last year recent, and B)it very well could have been you or me. If any of you made money off that adventure in finance, I’d love to hear your story.

The Hunger Games BoSaS: I’m going to find a way to make that stick. BOH-sass. It’s just so satisfying to say. This latest visit to Panem was also satisfying. Also unsatisfying, but in a good way. It left me wanting more. There is clearly more tale to tell about Coriolanus Snow’s climb to the top, and I won’t truly be satisfied in this futureworld story until I see it. What’s great about BoSaS is that it’s not just a repackaging of the JLaw Hunger Games. It’s a new world on multiple levels. It helps that the source materials are top shelf.

The Shift: I can’t say enough about this movie and the movie company that created not only the Shift, but Sound of Freedom. Both movies are important movies (I explained that a couple of times, I think) and both movies definitely deserve to be Best Movie of 2023. With SoF, it is important to shed light on the evil that supposedly ‘civilized’ people still inflict on the weakest among us.

The Shift is important on a much more personal level. Not to get all preachy on you, but watch this movie with an openness of mind and heart. And if it raises an uncomfortable itch within you…don’t ignore it. Scratch it. What did the great sage C S Lewis say? if (it’s) false, (it’s) of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important.

Wonka: I don’t know how how many times or how many ways I can compliment this movie. In an age where movies have created all the magic you thought possible…Star Wars. Superman. Avengers, et al…along comes a movie that shows us that yes, there is still some magic to be found. And from a prequel, at that. Wonka truly was a magical movie that appeals to our inner kid. This is what I imagine folks seeing Wizard of Oz back in 1939 felt. Pure. Movie. Magic.

For the WIN…

And that’s the list, people. All the movies this year that the Average Dude has given at least 4 out of 5 stars, popcorn bags or whatevers. I gave hard consideration to BOTH offerings from Angel Studios. The Shift and Sound of Freedom made really strong arguements for the top spot. In the end, I opted for pure entertainment value the way momma used to make it. So…the award for Average Dude’s Best Movie of 2023 goes to…

See my full review for Wonka here!

Check back again this week to see how I reviewed ‘The Boys in the Boat’!
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Best Movie of 2023 – Calling Balls and Strikes

It’s about that time of year when movie reviewers are asked ‘What were the best movies of 2023’? Some people are seriously curious about what movies they might have missed. Others are eager to reminisce on the year’s gems. Still others are inviting a debate. I’m totally fine with that as long as the debate is respectful and good-natured. Still others want to inform me that my choices lack merit because I didn’t include ‘Jawan’ in my list of awesome. The thing to remember here is this:

It says so right at the top

I’m an Average Dude. I work a 40 hour week. I have a family and a house that requires maintenance. I have hobbies. I have friends. I have a life. I do not get paid for my reviews, I do it because I love it. But you can d*mn well rest assured that if this was my 9 to 5 then I’d spend a shite-ton more time in my moviehaus and bringing my takes to you. Man, that’d be an boss way to make a living.

But I don’t. Because like most of us, I can’t. So I have to be selective with the movies I do review. Sometimes there’s a week with two worthies that I really want to see. Bonus for all of us. More often than not, it’s just the pick of the litter. And with that in mind, I’ll give you the pick of the pick of the litter for the year 2023.

Best Movie of 2023 – the short list:

So, I’m going to narrow the field down by making two requirements for Best Movie of 2023 consideration. 1) It had to be a theatrical release. There were some great series and streaming releases. I may ammend that next year or I may do a separate Best Of list for those. 2) It had to have score of at least 4 out of 5. That’s it. Let the debates begin…

The Candidates:

The Covenant – a very little known action movie based on real events in that there are thousands of Afghanistan nationals that aided Americans that are now dead or at mortal risk after our botched withdrawl. This movie didn’t shy away from that truth and had an unashamed best of America spirit about it. Solid entertainment that you should watch.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3 – There was no movie that I was more excited to see this year than GotG3. The first one is still in my top 5 Marvel movies all-time. The final installment of the Guardians (at least this iteration of them) was everything you could want in a third and final act. It further developed the characters. It answered questions we’ve had since the begining and even forced us to bring out the hankies. More than once. If you’ve seen the first two, you can not miss this one. If you haven’t seen them, you have a fantastic treat ahead of you.

Spider-man: Across the Spiderverse – I loved the first one. The further adventures of Miles Morales were also a deepening of the character and I loved this one only slightly less than the first. Don’t be put off because it’s animated. The art is absolutely top-shelf and even manages to bring an old element of comics art in a new, fresh way.

MI: Deak Reckoning Part 1 – I wasn’t at all certain we needed another MI movie but I AM certain we still need Tom Cruise action movies, because he still chooses great vehicles and he still delivers. I know it didn’t make the bank they expected, and I have no idea why it didn’t. All I know is that I loved it and will see the second part (and presumably, last MI before they reboot the whole shebang) on opening night.

Sound of Freedom – Angel Studios has a strong showing in this year’s Best Movies of 2023 competition. Sound of Freedom is the first of two. With a budget of next to nothing (comparatively), this movie made it’s money back by a multiple of 17. Not for nothing, but this was an investor funded movie. They made bank. And for good reason. Sound of Freedom is a movie based on the actual story of child abduction and trafficking that has been ignored by Hollywood for years. Angel Studios had the guts to finally make it and were well-rewarded. Read into that what you will.

Next: ADMR Best Movie of 2023 Part 2

Apparently, this is the year of stories too big to be told in a single movie. In fact, there were 3 that have a Part 2 coming at some later date, and two of them made this list (Sorry, Fast X). So in keeping with that fad, next week we will recap the last five nominees. Listed chronologically:
Equalizer 3
Dumb Money
Hunger Games BoSaS (I’m pronouncing that ‘BOH-sass’. It just sounds cool)
the Shift
Wonka

Stop by next week to see who takes the coveted title of Average Dude’s Best Movie of 2023! And maybe, if time and fate are not against me, I’ll give you a little sneak of some new stuff coming in the next year from the Average Dude Movie Reviews. No promises.

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