Bad Boys Ride or Die is nearly 30 years old now

I remember the first Bad Boys movie…barely. It starred Will Smith and Martin Lawrence (of course) and the movie poster showed them bracketing a smoking hot Téa Leoni. Here’s what I remember from that movie. Detectives Mike Lowry and Marcus Burnett were adversarial partners tasked with protecting a witness (Leoni). And I remember that I liked it. That’s all. And that’s not surprising, since in fact, that movie first came out 29 years ago.

Here’s a list of things that didn’t exist then…

Google. Smartphones (or really, any cell phone that didn’t look like a brick). The Web (as in, the world wide). email. Streaming anything. Selfies (or anyplace to post them). Gender reveal parties. The Carolina Panthers and Jacksonville Jaguars (well, they existed but had not played a game yet).

I think I’ve made my point. It’s been a hot minute. And at the risk of belaboring the obvious, it might be time to rename the franchise Bad Older Gentlemen. But that doesn’t have the same pinaché, the same zing. I get it.

I thought there were only three of them

So, maybe I had a lot going on in 2020. The nation was closed for business just as my beloved Kansas City Chiefs had become world champions and I may have been on a 6 month party. Who knows. But in the run-up to Bad Boys Ride or Die, I seriously thought there were only three movies in the franchise. Somehow, I missed Bad Boys For Life.

In this franchise, there was a whole lot going on in the third installment. Marcus became a ‘pop pop’. Captain Conrad (the fantastic Joey Pants) died (in the movie, not in real life, God forbid). Mike died, came back, and found out he had an adult son from a NOLA witch. Yeah, I feel like, if I had seen it, I’d remember that stuff.

Here’s the thing…it didn’t matter

Watching Bad Boys Ride or Die and seeing Mike’s son show up I was like ‘Okay, that’s new’. And seeing that Capt Conrad was dead I was like ‘Okay, that’s a bummer’. Seeing Reggie mature from a bit character to *REDACT REDACT REDACT REDACT REDACT REDACT* was a nice progression. I rolled along with all of this assuming that the questions would be answered by and by. Thanks to excellent pacing, I didn’t get a chance to dwell on such things. And at the end of the movie, I was like ‘This was a cool movie. Much better than I expected out of a 4th helping’.

The amazing Mrs Average Dude saves my bacon yet again

Mrs. Average Dude, having never seen the other movies, needed to know more. So we went back to watch Bad Boys For Life and I got a whole new movie to answer the questions I barely had. And I got to see all the returning cast of characters again in reverse order, and I liked that, too.
None of that was a spoiler, by the way

So even though I told you that Mike’s son shows up in Bad Boys Ride or Die, or that Capt Conrad was dead, it’s not spoiling anything. I do, however, need to go back in this review and redact a small portion.* You’re welcome.

And since I don’t give spoilers in my reviews, let me just say this of Bad Boys Ride or Die: It was more of what brought you to the theater back in 1995. And 2003. and 2020. It reminded me of how much I miss seeing Martin Lawrence and his particular brand of action/comedy. His slanted grin, full of good natured mischief, is 100% infectious. And make no mistake, in this franchise, Will Smith is the straight man, setting up the Lawrence punchline. And I really like it. Sure, Smith is the ‘action star’. Those guys are a dime a dozen. But there are so few Martin Lawrences, and they are entertainment gold.

So I am gladly giving Bad Boys Ride or Die a hearty 4 out of 5. Sure, they’re too old to be the ‘really bad boys’ of the 90’s and early 2000’s, and this movie doesn’t try to ignore that fact. But at least they have a good comedic chemistry to lean on that still delivers. And that’s not nothing.

Also not for nothing: I would be totally remiss as the Average Dude to NOT point out that Téa Leoni has aged amazingly well. Thirty years. I can only hope I age even close to as well.

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