Month: September 2024

The Killer’s Game didn’t try to be more than it was

Sometimes, in my heartfelt desire to serve the movie-going masses, I go to see a movie that I’m not expecting much from. Part of that is because I’m trying to build a trust between you and me. Part of it is because I just love going to the movies. And since I am an Average DUDE, my inclination is to go see DUDE movies. This week, there were three new releases: a horror movie, a mock-umentory movie and an action movie. I’ll see a horror movie on occasion (if the premise looks original) and I’ll get around to watching the mock-umentary (I’ve been hearing good buzz).

But this week, The Killer’s Game seemed like the best of ‘meh’ choices. And it turned out to be a pleasant surprise.

The Killer’s Game stars Dave Bautista as top-shelf hitman Joe Flood. Joe lives a low-key, modest life when not deleting bad people from this earlhly existence. He plays by ‘the rules of the game’…kill no innocents, follow the direction of your dispatcher (played by the legendary Ben Kingsley) and do not enlist the services of mercenaries. Who makes these rules? No clue, but since this is a John Wick heirarchy clone, we’ll allow it.

You’d think they would have a better health plan

While on a standard ‘assignment’, Joe’s eye falls upon modern dance star Maize (Sofia Boutella). During the chaos caused by a high-profile assasination, Joe breaks from his usual meticulous work ethic to carry an mildly injured Maize from the heart of danger and into the arms of first responders, pocketing her cell phone in the process. Joe uses the phone as an excuse to reach out to Maize. An uncomfortable romance ensues.

To add to the confusion, Joe periodically experiences sharp spikes of brain pain that all but cripple him. After experiencing one of these during an op, Joe seeks out his organizational medical professional. After being examined, Joe is diagnosed with a rare disorder and is given a dire diagnosis. Believing he has only weeks to live, Joe decides to leave this world on his own terms and puts a hit out on himself.

Do they also have free legal assistance?

But hold the phone! There was a mix-up at the lab and Joe is going to live! Now, Joe must try to extricate himself from a mess of his own creation while also trying to win back the woman he loves. Kookiness and Wick-level violence ensues. Never mind that the doc suffers no consequences for his disasterous eff-up. One would think that, in that arena, the consequences for a misdiagnosis would be a lot more severe. But moving on…

Kind of like the league of Joe’s deadly exes

The Killer’s Game does a couple of things that make it better than it has a right to be. Firstly, the writers and director don’t try to get Bautista to do more than he’s capable of. Call me crazy, but I don’t think Drax is going to be in any Oscar considerations. I’ll gladly and humbly eat my own words if it comes to that. Bautista is a big, beefy action star. That’s what he does. Bautista falls smack dab in the Ahnold, Sly Stalone, Rock bucket. From every role I’ve seen him in, he’s not all that emotive. It’s fine. Dave staying in his lane is just fine.

Secondly, and most enjoyably, is the quirky foes of Flood. Each one has their own motif de murder that is mildly fun and a nice departure from the John Wick style of dispatching enemies. It’s remniscent of Scott Pilgrim vs the World, an delightfully original movie now considered a cult classic which The Average Dude recommends.

If not for the quirky portrayals, The Killer’s Game story is nothing at all original. Like with every Batman movie, the entertainment value is with the villains. And that’s what makes this movie a bit above your average B movie hitman show. Sure, Ben Kingsley is superb, even in a very limited role. But Joe and Maize are about as bland and cardboard as they can be.

It’s a credit to director JJ Perry. Perry has only three directing credits to his name, none of which are noteable. Maybe if he were given a project with more oompf he could have attracted bigger talent. But for his third effort, I can see how Bautista might have been the biggest name he could get. And kudos for doing the most with the little he was given. It’s a promising start.

So, The Average Dude is pleased to give The Killer’s Game a somewhat modest 3 out of 5, mostly for surprising me with some mildly entertaining villains for Joe to dispatch. This is not a movie I’ll every stop and watch a few minutes of if I see it scrolling through my streaming channels. Watch this one after you’ve gotten through all your top shelf shows (like Shogun). For me, it’s already been memory-holed. Sorry Joe and your league of deadly assassins. That’s the best I can do for you.

And by the way, I much prefer my Bautista bald, thank you.

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Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is barely so-so

When the first Beetlejuice hit the big screen, I was the proud father of two amazing toddlers. Those two are now fully grown and living their lives. It was and remains an all-time classic and a must-watch that spawned an animated series that ran for 4 seasons. There have been a metric sh!te-ton of sequels made in that timespan that absolutely did not need to be made. When we heard that this beloved classic was finally getting a chaser, we were all on-board. Tragically, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is not the sequel we’ve been waiting 36 years for. Not by a long shot.

WTF WTF??

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice picks up with the next generation of the Deetz family. Astrid Deetz – played by Jenna Ortega – tries to live down the embarassment of her celebrity mother. Winona Ryder is back as Lydia Deetz, who is now the host of her own show on the paranormal. Catherine O’Hara returns as Delia Deetz an unapologetic narcisist constantly striving to be on the cutting edge of art and fashion. This is clearly a role she was born to play and no one does it better. Delia Deetz. Moira Rose. Cookie Fleck. Always entertaining. And of course, Michael Keaton returns as the title character title character. And that’s where the disappointment hits hardest.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice had multiple storylines with tons of star power, each with their own story thread. If those threads had intertwined to make a stronger story, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice would have been fantastic. That didn’t happen.

Star Powerless

One of the first cameos in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice was by REDACTED REDACTED, a no-brainer slam-dunk for a movie like this. His appearance was brief but enjoyable.

There were other stars, however, that had more than cameo status but arguably less impactful than REDACTED REDACTED. One of this movie’s biggest disappointments were their under use. Burn Gorman, a favorite B list actor, had less screen time than a CGI shrunken head zombie named Bob who had no lines. (Obviously).

Monica Bellucci played a very fetching undead creature. Her storyline could have been a movie in itself. It was instead, crammed into Beetlejuice Beetlejuice like a 300 lb cadaver into a shoebox casket for your hamster.

Willam Defoe, say it isn’t so

And don’t even get me started on the usually fantastic Willem Dafoe. He played his role with the utmost camp that this movie demanded. But his entire contribution could have been slashed to the cutting room floor. And for Dafoe’s legacy’s sake, probably should have. How could he willingly go from this

to this?

Seriously, Willem. If you need a loan, give me a buzz. We’ll figure something out.

Maybe he’s working on The Flash 2 at the same time

But most horrifically was the criminal under-exposure of the man himself. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that, when going to a movie named Beetlejuice Beetlejuice that you actually get to see the star on the marque do his post-mortem thing. What we got from Keaton’s ghoulish performance was little snippets here and there. I felt like he was just popping in from a neighboring sound stage to do his bits in between takes from another movie.

By my count, there were six (6) distinct storylines in Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. None of them really got resolved properly. And I’m not counting semi-arcs like Justin Theroux (very adequately douchie performance). Every main character had a separate journey. Which is fine, as long as they tie together. They didn’t. And for a seasoned pro like Tim Burton, that might be the biggest disappointment of all.

But it wasn’t all bad, was it?

Certainly not. There were some really nice moments of nostalgia that reminded us why we loved the first Beetlejuice. There was a spooky musical number remniscent of the the Banana Boat scene. Jenna Ortega was on point and her casting as the angsty daughter of Lydia Deetz was spot-on. The underworld scenes were as you remember them and it was nice to return to the dusty, oozey mild gross-out that Burton pulls off so well.

So, it is with more than a trickle of disappointment, I’m giving Beetlejuice Beetlejuice a room temperature 2.8 out of 5. I don’t expect a third helping of this franchise and Tim Burton himself said that doing another one in thirty-five years would put him at over 100. Fitting for the spirit of the movie but the math doesn’t really work out. Probably for the best.

Seven. I just remembered another barely used sub-plot. Sigh.

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Reagan is a bio-pick we want to believe

If I haven’t stated clearly before, the Average Dude tries really, really hard to separate politics from entertainment. Politics have always been about as divisive as any topic we could discuss (with the possible exception of religion). I’m more than happy to discuss my political beliefs (just ask Mrs Average Dude, the poor girl) but not on this platform. This column is to have some fun and hopefully give you a bit of heads up on the latest offerings out of Hollywood. Because I love the medium and I love people. But sometimes it’s just unavoidable.

Reagan is cause for exception of the rule

It is commonly believed that the Reagan years were among the greatest of our lives for We The People. You can argue it was the music. You can argue it was a general acceptance of self-absorbed ‘me’ mentality. You can argue is was a return to financial prosperity from the crushing inflation of the previous administration. But it’s impossible to argue the absolute, intrinsic truth that Ronald ‘Dutch’ Reagan restored a sense of pride in America. He was strong. He was bold. He was genuine. And, as this bio-pic at least hints at, he was human.

A Leap of Faith

As with last year’s big bio-pic and winner of multiple Oscars Oppenheimer, Reagan tries to tell a little bit of the behind the scenes story of the subject matter. While Oppenheimer was tense and at time unseemly in it’s portrayals, Reagan is, for the most part, very wholesome. Where the former liked to concentrate on the human failings of the historical figures, Reagan presented a movie start cum politician that wanted nothing more than to help this country prevail against her foreign adversaries.

The Machine Strikes Back

Dennis Quaid did an amazing job portraying the vocal style and mannerisms Ronald Reagan and doesn’t get nearly enough credit from the Hollywood machine as he should. But that does not mean the machine has been silent. Oh, heavens, no. Critics nearly universally trash this movie as a blatantly conservative puff-piece. Contrary to those soul-less shills is the audience consensus. See what’s going on here? Kind of curious why the ‘critics’ haven’t started selectively editing the Audience scores to align with theirs. Am I being too mistrusting?

Maybe, maybe not.

In fairness, Reagan was quite kind to his memory. This begs the question ‘Was it honest?’ Taking politics out of the equation, I remind myself that the absence of salatious and unflattering scenes does not automatically make it dishonest. As a matter of fact, all actual statements from his contemporaries and my own memories of the Reagan years considered, I think it was closer to the truth. And if I’m being REALLY honest, I’m hoping it is.

Cynicism be damned

It is almost an intellectual must to look at government right now and suspect that, behind every politician, is a scandal that they could not survive if it were revealed. The bigger the name, the greater the suspicion. Reagan might just be the last, best politician we will ever have. With all his flaws, he meant to do what was right for this country. Even in his Iran-Contra scandal, his honest and contrite admission was best for us. And as this movie rightly points out, Americans are quick to forgive those that ask for it.

Like Santa. Or Travis and Taylor.

In the end, I think that most of us truly want to believe that Reagan was every bit the Crusader he was reported to be. It’s insanely hard to find someone to trust from that crazy world. A president who would lead through strength, make economic decisions that benefited everyone and restore America’s standing on the world stage. We want to believe Reagan was all of that because we want SO MUCH to believe we can have someone like that again.

Also in fairness

It is impossible to not see some of the parallels between Reagan and the current conservative presidential candidate. Both lead through strength. Both are not afraid to take a stand on the world stage or in front of our enemies. Heck, both took a bullet. But let’s not get crazy here. The current guy is NO Ronald Wilson ‘Dutch’ Reagan. I think all of that is totally fair to say. If you disagree or want to rail at me for saying it, fine. It’s a free country. All I ask is that you bring receipts. Otherwise, you’re just blowing air out of your facehole.

So, because you all know me to be an optimist of the highest order, I am going to go right ahead and believe that Reagan was pretty close to the truth (if a little one-sided). It’s fine. It’s not bad to think well of a man who did great things when this country needed someone to do great things for us. It’s not naive to hope that someday we’ll have another one. I’m giving Reagan a 4.2 out of 5. Politics be damned.

On further review of current circumstances, it may be a bit naive. I hope not, though.

BONUS***
My eldest daughter with the great Dennis Quaid and the Sharks in Anchorage. Very VERY cool, Snick!

***WARNING***
I just saw the movie poster for Captain America: Brave New World. Awesome poster. But the release date fills me with dispair. This is not a good sign…

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