So…the Average Dude is many things…writer, artist, movie afficionado extraordinaire, golf hacker, budding entrepreneur, fantasy football demi-deity and so on. But what I am most in life is a family man. I love my family above myself. So when Mrs Average Dude was excited to go see My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3, how could I say no? She has so very dutifully accompanied me to see almost every movie I’ve reviewed (she skipped Fast X and I continue to remind her that she missed out). And to be fair, I did see MBFGW 1 &2. I didn’t pay to see them in theater, of course. But I remember that I didn’t hate them.

(And, I’m not saying that I spray Windex on lots of stuff you wouldn’t normally spray it on, but I’m also not saying that I don’t. Full disclosure, as always.)

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 is the sequel that we never cared enough to know we didn’t need

MBFGW was released over two decades ago (in 2002) and the first sequel released 14 years later. For a long awaited (ahem) second helping of souvlaki (I looked it up…think gyro without the pita) it was not too bad. Focusing on Gus and Maria was nice because, frankly, Toula and Ian were the least interesting characters of the lot. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 arrives in theaters in 2023 and it is amazing that a lot of the original cast were still around and able to participate. Sadly, one of the missing was the very heart of the Portokalos family. RIP, Gus. I truly loved you.

Heart and Soul

With the heart that holds the family together gone, apparently the soul departed as well. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 was all over the place and never found any real identity. Was it about who would now lead the family? Was it about honoring Gus’s memory (on multiple fronts, apparently)? Was it about connecting with distant family? Was it about young love? Old love? Forbidden love (x2)? An existential soul-search? Believing in yourself? Finding yourself? Was it about saving the past or evolving? Immigrant rights or overcoming bigotry? Was it about how to care for an elderly loved one with some stage of dementia? Yes to all of thee above. And unfortunately, none were done well.

SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE!

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 was a master class in trying to cram way too much into a movie and giving nothing time to flourish. So many plates spinning that I can’t even list them all. Every single character seemed to have their own mission, secret or internal dilemma. And in the final reel, they all were resolved – weakly – because ‘the movie is ending sooo SHAZAM! RESOLUTION!’

As disappointing as that was, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 also shoe-horned in a whole handful of new characters that had their own storylines to flesh out. One of which was apparently meant to check a certain box. The ham-fisted inclusion of the whole trans question only served to make what could have been an interesting character shallow. That sounds contradictory but it isn’t.

In fairness to Mrs Average Dude, I should tell you that she liked MBFGW3. Am I missing something? Some emotional disconnect inherent in the male mind? Maybe. I am a dude after all so probably. But since I didn’t hate MBFGW 1&2, I feel like I have sufficient cred to be able to say that My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 was a big fat Greek mess and doesn’t add anything to the quirky characters we loved and, in fact, detracted from them. I’m giving My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3 a shakey 2 out of 5. I’m glad now that Gus wasn’t in this movie. I don’t think even he could have weathered this unscathed.

Oh, and just btw, they managed to jam an actual Greek (sort of) wedding in at the finish line. Otherwise, they would have had to call it My Big Fat Greek Vacation…that would have worked, actually. They need to have me on speed dial. Seriously.

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