Civil War, your timing is impeccable

There is no movie I’ve seen previews for this year – other than Deadpool 3 of course – that the Average Dude has been more anticipating than Civil War. One wonders how long it has been in the can, awaiting the perfect time to release. Too soon and they lose the boost of current political divisions going into the most important presidential election since the LAST most important presidential election. Too late and they risk either political fatigue (aren’t we all kind of there anyway?) vs possible encitement to conflict. I kind of think Hollywood nailed it. Well played, Hollywood. About time you actually thought things through and made a smart call.

So, even though it competed with The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare, I was always going to see Civil War opening weekend. And I’m glad I did. While all the political pundits gave their agenda-driven yays or nays, I was able to avoid their influence and watch this movie with anticipation and not expectation.

I say anticipation, but that doesn’t mean without bias. I would love to talk to anyone who truly has no biases on the state of the canyon that exists between conservatives and liberals. I would take them to see Civil War and intently listen to their reaction. Because this Average Dude is fully aware of his own biases. And, in the spirit of seeking the truth in all things, am constantly challenging those biases. That’s the only way I know to seek truth.

The basic premise of Civil War: California and Texas have ceceded from the United States and allied, adopting an American flag with only two stars. There are various other states that have ceceded and created their own coalitions, separate from the Loyalist States. The Loyalist States, led by the current president, have launched an offensive against the Cali/Texas alliance. Since Cali and the Lone Star state have a very large percentage of military bases, it makes sense from a believability standpoint.

They would have needed a maxi-series to tell it all

If Civil War had continued down that road it could have been a exciting, action-packed, possibly even powerful movie. But that would have required it to actually answer one of about a hundred questions that the viewing audience had. What caused the initial division so grievous that it caused the United States to fracture so completely AND cause California and Texas to side together? What did the internal struggle for power within each faction look like? Who is leading the Western Forces coalition? Or the Second Republic of Texas? Or Cali? And why in the world is South Carolina not part of the Florida Alliance? See what I mean? There are a truckload of other stories to tell here.

Thelma and Louise. And a dude. And an older dude.

Civil War didn’t begin from any of those story points, which could have started us on an epic journey. Nope. They made the whole Civil War a backdrop for a road-trip story about 4 journalists rolling through a war-torn America enroute to the White House to interview the sitting president before the cecessionists arrive to remove him from office. With extreme predjudice. Journos. Of all the viewpoints in society that the writers could have chosen to tell this story, could they have chosen one LESS trustworthy? Less identifiable by the bulk of the country? I’m thinking probably not.

So, in fairness to journos, there are probably some journos out there that really do aspire to the higher journo ideals. Tell the truth with impartiality. Show the facts. Unbiased. Even when it comes at great personal risk. Those girls and guys are the closest to secular martyrs we will ever see. But those folks are rare. Like, unicorn rare. They’re the ones who have not been co-opted by money and fame. It’s sad but true.

Food for thought

But Dude…is it any good? The short answer to that is yes. Sure, there’s some good stuff, but mostly it comes as a subtle warning to the watcher. The facade of ‘American moral superiority’ falls away. Slowly, at first. But as the intrepid journos get closer to DC, the brutality grows. In this Average Dude’s opinion, it was way, WAY too soft. It was baby formula when we wanted a T-bone.

If current strife in other areas of the globe have shown us, war on your own doorstep isn’t just uncomfortable or inconvenient. It’s crushing. It’s scarring. It’s often fatal. And in our land of excess, self-absorbsion and entitlement, the carnage would come faster and more brutally than most folks think. Civil War hinted at it, but didn’t take it nearly far enough IMHO.

So…does the Average Dude recommend?

I do. Because most average dudes and dudies have probably wondered on some level what a Civil War in this country would look like. And even getting a taste of it would be worth your time. Civil War straight up did not take sides. To the very best of its ability it walked the partisanship middle line. Would it have been better if it had taken a stand? I think so. For good or ill, it would have gotten more press. Appealing to one side and enraging the other surely would have generated more buzz. But watering it down guarantees a watered down response. And it feels a bit cowardly. That’s just the Average Dude’s opinion.

So, take it for what it’s worth, I suppose… reminder of how quickly people can forget their humanity. A mild reminder, at that. If something like this really did happen, I think it would be so much, much worse. And THAT’s not just an opinion.

There are many examples in our marvelously modern world that back up that claim. In the land of ultimate opportunity and affluence, what do you think would happen if that American priviledge got suddenly yanked away? People who have never once had to fend for themselves would be in utter panic. That’s upwards of 333 million folks (minus the 1%) who would be desperate to get what they ‘need’. Think the covid toilet paper panic times about a skillion. If we lose our sh!t over two-ply, what will it look like if folks can’t get their meds. Or their Hamburger Helper. Or their internet.

In the spirit of educating the purposefully obtuse, I am recommending Civil War. For those of us who spend time thinking ‘what if’, its a curiosity. For those who just don’t want to think about the possibility, I’d call it a must-watch on a grade school level. The Average Dude is giving Civil War a 3.5 out of 5. And God help us all if something like this ever happens.

And not for nothing, but I much preferred this Civil War…

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